Our Family Journey
Our Story: The Essential Guide
A personal journey of creating purpose, meaning, and opportunities beyond traditional paths
Introduction
Hello there! We’re the parents behind the Romalite Team, and we’re so glad you’ve found your way to our corner of the internet. Our family journey centers around our beautiful daughter Erica, who is 20 years old and has Down syndrome and autism. Along with her two supportive brothers and our three Standard Poodles who Erica absolutely adores, we’ve been navigating a path that many families like ours find themselves on – one that doesn’t always have clear signposts or well-marked trails.
We created this blog because we know firsthand how isolating and overwhelming it can feel when your child graduates from high school and suddenly, the structure and support that school provided vanishes. Our story isn’t perfect, and we certainly don’t have all the answers, but we’ve learned valuable lessons along the way that we wish someone had shared with us before Erica’s graduation in 2024.
In this post, we’ll take you through our journey – from Erica’s early years to the challenging transition after high school and how we eventually found our way to creating Romalite Candles, a small family business that has given Erica purpose and our entire family a new direction.
“When traditional support systems didn’t work for us, we began connecting with other families in similar situations. These connections have become invaluable sources of support, ideas, and friendship.”
Early Years
We learned about Erica’s Down syndrome during pregnancy through ultrasound, with confirmation at birth. Like many parents receiving this news, we experienced a mix of emotions – love, worry, determination, and so many questions about what the future would hold. The autism diagnosis came later, adding another layer to our understanding of Erica and how we could best support her.
During those early years, we focused on early intervention therapies, but more importantly, on getting to know Erica as Erica – not just as a collection of diagnoses or therapy goals. She quickly showed us her vibrant personality, her love for music that would have her dancing spontaneously around the house, and her genuine affection for animals, especially our poodles who became her constant companions.
School Years
Erica’s educational journey took place in the public school system in Arizona. She spent time in Peoria School District before we transferred her to Glendale High School, hoping to find a program that would better support her unique needs and potentially allow her to stay in school until age 22, as Arizona law permits for students with IEPs.
The structure and routine of school were tremendously beneficial for Erica. She thrived with consistent schedules, enjoyed the social aspects of being around peers, and made steady progress in both academic and life skills. Her love for art blossomed in school, and she always looked forward to her art classes where she could express herself freely.
The Transition Cliff
As Erica’s senior year progressed, we found ourselves caught in a difficult situation. The school was strongly pushing for graduation, and surprisingly, Erica herself became excited about the idea. Somewhere – perhaps from peers, perhaps from teachers – she had absorbed the idea that graduation was something to look forward to, a celebration, a milestone to be proud of.
We were torn. On one hand, we knew deep down that Erica wasn’t ready for this transition. On the other hand, we wanted to honor her emerging self-advocacy and her obvious excitement about walking across the stage in her cap and gown. It was an impossible position: do we insist on what we believe is best for her long-term, or do we respect her expressed wishes?
Key Lessons We’ve Learned:
- Traditional paths aren’t the only valid ones
- Structure is essential, but it needs to be the right kind of structure
- Interests can become purposes
- Building a business requires dedication and patience
- Community doesn’t have to be found; sometimes it can be created
- Parents know their children best
Our Candle Business Beginnings
The seed for Romalite Candles was planted back in June 2022, when Erica was 17. At that time, we thought we had at least four more years in the high school environment and were slowly beginning to prepare for life after high school. As we considered what kind of business might be suitable for Erica’s future, we were drawn to candle-making because our family had always loved candles—there’s something about a home that smells wonderful that just makes everyone feel better.
Life Today
Almost a year post-graduation, our days look very different than we initially feared they would. Our home has transformed to accommodate both our family life and our developing business. We’ve converted a bedroom into our candle studio, with baker’s racks, work tables, and all the equipment needed for production. Our garage houses vessels and packaging materials, and we’ve even transformed a hallway linen closet into storage for fragrance oils. Throughout our home, you’ll find evidence of this family business taking shape.
But more importantly, our home continues to be a space centered around Erica’s needs and interests. She has two bedrooms—one for sleeping and another we call her “glam room,” complete with a television, game consoles, a desk with her Mac computer, and a makeup station with lights around the mirror. We’ve always prioritized creating spaces where Erica can thrive.
Why We Created This Blog
After navigating the challenging post-graduation landscape and beginning to find our way with Romalite Candles, we realized how much we wished we’d had a resource like this before Erica graduated. There’s plenty of information available about early intervention, school accommodations, and medical aspects of Down syndrome and autism, but relatively little about that critical transition period after high school ends.
We noticed a particularly significant gap when it came to creating meaningful opportunities through family micro-businesses. While traditional employment and day programs work well for some individuals with developmental disabilities, they’re not the right fit for everyone. Yet, resources for families wanting to create alternative paths are scattered and often not specific to the unique challenges of balancing business development with caregiving responsibilities.
Join Us on This Journey
If our story resonates with you, we’d love to have you join our community. Whether you’re approaching your child’s graduation and feeling apprehensive, already in the post-school period and searching for direction, or simply interested in creating more meaningful opportunities for your loved one with Down syndrome and/or autism, you’ll find resources here to support you.
Get Your Free Transition Planning Checklist
We’ve created a comprehensive checklist based on what we wish we’d known before Erica’s graduation. This free resource outlines:
- Key considerations for the transition from high school
- Important conversations to have with school staff
- Practical steps to take in the years, months, and weeks before graduation
- Resources to explore for post-high school opportunities
With warmth and hope,
The Romalite Team
Continue Your Journey With Us
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